Ready yourself for the inevitable screed of Clarksonian denigration ending in successively more nonsensical similes for how awful the Audi S3 and S3 Sportback featuring the flappy paddle shifters of the S-tronic transmission are. For the new model year, the S3s get the twin-clutch six speed selectable automatic transmission hooked to the 265 HP, 258 lb-ft 2.0 TFSI engine. The result will be hatefully despised as silly, but will make the car run to 60 mph in 5.5 seconds, that's two-tenths faster. Rubbish! Complete press release below.